Today is the day we gave you away

(Oct 6,2010)

Today we placed, the rest of you to trace
The outlining of the sea, so you can be free
To the world that we know, to emerge and grow
Into a magnificent butterfly or a beautiful bird up high
To evolve into many, where you can do plenty
To show how amazingly special you are
Beaming brighter than the shiniest star
So as you flow down the river, just always remember
It was time to let you go, so you can flow real slow
To spread your heart, soul and love
That was given to you from up above!!


I love you so much AJ!!
You are now free..........

I miss you baby! I think about everyday. Time is going by and I feel like I dont know how to grieve. I go about my life as if nothing ever happened. I want to apologize to you for that. I do not mean to come off that way, its just I want you here with me and I want to touch and see you again. I get sad thinking about April 17. It will be here in less than 3 months. You wouldve been 1 yrs old. Wow. time does fly. While I sit here and wish and ream about you, I know your in a better place. Your my angel AJ. I will ALWAYS LOVE YOU!! I miss you baby watch over us... me, daddy and ur sister syan... watch over your entire family and keep us safe... forever in my heart!! <3

172 Days of Love

172 Days of Love

For 172 days you were mine to nourish, love and care for

Forever I wanted to know what you looked like, smelled like, felt like

I wanted you so much more

Knowing that you were ours forever to share

The feeling and passion was overwhelming

Nothing could compare

I waited anxiously for you to arrive and be seen

I am your mother now which I’m not sure what that means

I was so excited, scared, happy and now complete

You have arrived; you’re here, now we get to meet

The 12 days you were here, I tried not to shed a tear

I tried to be strong for you, love you, embrace you

With daddy, who showed all the love he has for you too

You are so beautiful, healthy, so tiny but so strong

I definitely didn’t think that anything could go wrong

You are gone now and I’m not sure why

I now believe it is to protect us from above in the clear blue sky

You are now our angel so amazing so sweet

It’s hard for me to cry for you, or to feel so weak

We celebrate and enjoy the time we had with you my love

Spread your wings my angel and shine in the heavens above!

We love you so much AJ. You will always be remembered!

By: LaChel Hunt

Aj passed away on wed 4/29/2009 from NEC (necrotizing enterocolitis) he had a pin hole leak in his intestines which caused BM and air to go into his abdomen, which caused an infection. He was taken to children's hospital where surgeons cut an incision into is abdomen and out a tube for everything to drain out. At first we thought this was going to work and he wont need any other surgery. The next day his oxygen settings were on the highest level, his blood presssure and blood gases were really low, which made his heart rate low. We spoke to the surgeons and they said they rather not do surgery because hes on medication and the surgery couldve been worse for him. Later on in the day his rate consistantly stayed in the 70's. and then it dropped to the 30's. where the docotrs had to do CPR. he was so fragile that it made him bleed from the inside. I tried not to give up and told them to keep going, but I realized that I was being selfish and told them to stop. Before I did though, we made sure that he was baptized which I thought may help me with my faith, but it only pushed me further away from GOD.

I wasnt trying to get into any detail so it may sound like ramble. But I just wanted everyone to know what happened.

I LOVE U SO MUCH MY ANGEL xoxoxoxxoxo

4/29/2009

I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY...ALL I CAN SAY IS REST IN PEACE MY LOVE. I AM SO SORRY THAT I COULDNT MAKE THINGS BETTER. ITS SO HARD TO DEAL WITH. Y US. U DESERVED SO MUCH BETTER. WE DESERVED YOU. WE ARE GOOD PEOPLE. Y US????? I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BABY, FOREVER AND ALWAYS IN MY HEART. YOU ARE NO LONGER SUFFERING, NOW I JUST HAVE TO GRIEVE AND REMEMBER THE 12 DAYS THAT YOU WERE HERE....



ANTHONY LEOPOLDO QUEBRAL JR

4/17/2009-4/29/2009

OUR PRECIOUS ANGEL

4/27/2009

I went to see Aj around 2:30pm today with my dad. As soon as we walk in they are doing some x-rays and changing his linens. So we had to wait for about 10 minutes. So we went to go be with him and the nurse kept messing with him, which caused him to desat. She kept flipping him on his back and then stomach. Come to find out he had water in his ventilator. So most of our visit consisted of him desat and his heart going below 100bpm. He looked really good. He had an IV put in his arm today because he had one taken out of his umbilical cord. We was out of it, he looked so tired but resting so peacefully. He has been on feedings every 3 hours now, rather than 4 or 6. I want to hold him today, but Daddy Anthony has to work late, but I hope. Let you know a little bit later. He weighed 710 grams last night, which is about 1lb 9oz which I am really excited about because I know the milk is helping him grow. When he was born he was 693 grams. Love you munchkin and hope to see you a little later.

So Anthony got in really late tonight so we didn't go see Aj, but I have to understand because he works so hard to make sure that his family is taken care of. I called the night nurse and she told me the he is 12.4 inches. So he has grown a little because when he was born he was a little under 12 inch. I'm going to find out the exact inches, b/c I'm still not sure. Aj weighed 1lb 9oz today, he didn't gain any weight since last night!! Its okay, I know it takes time. We love you babes!!! xoxoxox

4/26/2009

Today was a good day. He hadn't had any major alarms besides the desat. He was mostly on 21% today. The highest he went up to was 25%. He was on feedings every 6 hours 1cc (1 ml) then the doctor told me that they are going to give him 1cc every 4 hours, but then changed their mind. No particular reason, they just want to take their time giving him his feedings. My grandmother came with me to the first visit. It was her first time seeing him. It was definitely nice to see her still be here to see her great grandchildren. He had his first BM today which I am really excited about. They said they gave him a suppository to help it come out better, which I can understand since he just got introduce to the breast milk.

Anthony and I went back to see him later on. I swear hes looking different day by day. That is why I take daily pictures. It was a nice visit. The nurse had to keep doing her hands on work. Taking blood, changing his fluids, flip him on his back and other things. So I kind of didn't get to spend too much time with him. But it was okay because just sitting there, knowing he was near made me feel great. I'm feeling good and I have a lot to look forward to. The nurse today said hes out his "honeymoon" phase, so at least I know hes doing good based on progress.

Thank you GOD for blessing me with this opportunity of being a mother to a strong, beautiful and determined little man. I love you and help me and my family stay strong through this whole experience. AMEN!!!